The difficulty to be a leader

I will always having a mindset, which is others will not respect me as a leader. I afraid that people will not respect me as well as their leader. So i will always choose to be a worker instead of commander, because i just need to complete all the stuff that given but not distribute the stuff to people.  It will be more easier to do things compare to arrange and planning. For this time i need to guide a group of people who is having same age with me and even some of them bigger than me. I am afraid that they wouldn't convinced with my ability and leadership skills.  I will try my best to cope with the feelings as it is first time for me to be a leader. New and interesting experience maybe, for my group members there are a member that is very active and talkative. I scare that i cannot convince him as well because he looks more confidence than me. He maybe will have more experience compare with me because he is 2 years older than me. 

Although my friend told me that i could handle with it, but i really scare about it. How a person will trust and believed a leader, for me is the leader's ability and maybe IQ. The smart leader will convince me, but the problem is i am not that good enough to face all those people.  They looks clever and more confidence than me. There are questions come to my mind, how i am going to handle,if they do not follow my instructions; what if they do not hear what i say; what if they are too stubborn to convince. Haiz, i am now realise that it is so hard to be a leader, and for leader there will always someone that do not follow what you had mentioned. 

I am really regret that in the past i will always be that one who always make problems for the leader. But now i am the leader who need to guide people. May the same problems come to myself? Will the karma comes back so fast? I am sorry for what i had done for the past few years. It is being done due to lacking of maturity. But now i understand what is the difficulty to be leader and i will try my best to follow all the instructions given.